Muli Ben-Yehuda's journal

December 3, 2004

Cat Haiku

Filed under: Uncategorized — Muli Ben-Yehuda @ 11:29 AM

Dedicated to our lovely monst^H^H^H^H^Hcat, Maud.

The food in my bowl
Is old, and more to the point
Contains no tuna.
—-

So you want to play.
Will I claw at dancing string?
Your ankle’s closer.
—-

There’s no dignity
In being sick — which is why
I don’t tell you where.
—-

Seeking solitude
I am locked in the closet.
For once I need you.
—-

Tiny can, dumped in
Plastic bowl. Presentation,
One star; service: none.
—-

Am I in your way?
You seem to have it backwards:
This pillow’s taken.
—-

Your mouth is moving;
Up and down, emitting noise.
I’ve lost interest.
—-

The dog wags his tail,
Seeking approval. See mine?
Different message.
—-

My brain: walnut-sized.
Yours: largest among primates.
Yet, who leaves for work?
—-

Most problems can be
Ignored. The more difficult
Ones can be slept through.
—-

My affection is conditional.
Don’t stand up,
It’s your lap I love.
—-

Cats can’t steal the breath
Of children. But if my tail’s
Pulled again, I’ll learn.
—-

I don’t mind being
Teased, any more than you mind
A skin graft or two.
—-

So you call this thing
Your “cat carrier.” I call
These my “blades of death.”
—-

Toy mice, dancing yarn
Meowing sounds. I’m convinced:
You’re an idiot.

(via Nev Dull nev (a) bostic (dot) com)

11 Comments »

  1. lol, i love it.
    i thought i was a dog person, but… i really want a cat.
    my roommates would have none of that, though.

    Comment by reverius42 — December 3, 2004 @ 2:58 AM | Reply

    • Get rid of them. A cat in the house is bliss. Except when they stick their claws into the tender parts in your feet, in the middle of the night, while you’re happily snoring. But we love them anyway.

      Comment by mulix — December 4, 2004 @ 11:46 PM | Reply

      • oh, that would be nice… (the cat, and getting rid of the roommates), but i am a student, and i make barely enough money to pay my share of the rent, much less all of it.
        eventually i’ll have a cat. and a decent job.

        Comment by reverius42 — December 5, 2004 @ 12:14 AM

  2. Haha.
    Most excellent Muli.

    Comment by the_p0pe — December 3, 2004 @ 7:17 AM | Reply

  3. Great stuff, even better timing. We just got my parent’s cat for a month while they are off to the US.

    Comment by yrk — December 3, 2004 @ 12:54 PM | Reply

    • Congrats to both you and the cat. Now you too can post your cat’s pictures to the innernet!

      Comment by mulix — December 4, 2004 @ 11:46 PM | Reply

      • Sarah and I already have 70+ gratuitous cat photos on the digicam. We are pathetic.
        Was not the original idea behind the Semantic Web of Tim Berners-Lee a place to store all the world’s out-of-focus cat photographs?

        Comment by yrk — December 5, 2004 @ 5:31 AM

      • Well, put them on the web, man…

        Comment by mulix — December 6, 2004 @ 1:09 AM

  4. This has Lilu (my kitten) written all over it. And just when she was sitting in my lap and decided I need a skin graft or two…

    Comment by mux2000 — December 4, 2004 @ 4:22 AM | Reply

    • All cats are alike. Some just hide it better.

      Comment by mulix — December 4, 2004 @ 11:47 PM | Reply


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